


Recoil

by LittleOna



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-16
Updated: 2014-08-16
Packaged: 2018-02-13 05:53:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2139507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleOna/pseuds/LittleOna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Just a little thing I wrote about my Warden, Susana Amell. It's fairly short, and I didn't go into any real detail of what happened specifically to her. But needless to say, she feels betrayed by those she once loved/called her friends. Not really sure when this takes place. XD</p>
            </blockquote>





	Recoil

 

 

> "Doubt is the path one walks to reach faith.  
>   To leave the path is to embrace blindness and abandon hope."
> 
> —The Qun

 

 

 ** _They lied to you._**  

“You knew all along, and you lied to me.”

Electricity coiled around her. Her skin hummed and crackled with energy. She had given them everything. Her freedom. Her happiness. Her chance at a normal and proper life. She had sacrificed everything for them, and in the end— they had betrayed her.

“No— I swear it. None of us knew,” Leliana pleaded. “Susana. Please. Stop this madness.” 

**_They hate you._  **

“Madness? I will show you madness,” she hissed, her voice charged as she drew down more energy from the clouds that pulsed above them. A feral grin slashed across her face as she felt Cullen attempt to use his training against her. It was easy to withstand it. She had once loved a templar. A templar who had long ago been so good and honorable that he had taught her the secrets of his brothers.

Skin, once the color of fresh ginger, grew translucent and began to glow as the electricity she harnessed coursed through her veins. Brown eyes turned black and wept excess energy. Turning her gaze to Cullen, she reached out toward him and using the charged air around them, lifted him off his feet.

“You told me you once that I was your shame and that loving me was a sin. Tell me templar, am I not now the abomination you once thought all mages to be?” 

**_They used you._  **

When no words came, she threw her arm aside— causing his body to slam into a nearby column. “Answer me,” she screamed.

“...No. You are no abomination. I was a child then Xuxa,” he finally managed.

Her eyes grew wide as lightning began to pulse out from her body. “You don't get to call me that anymore!” 

**_They are want to hurt you._  **

Susana grit her teeth. Even then, they still lied to her. After all that she had done for them, they still saw her as unworthy. They sought to collar her, to turn her into a _thing_ to be used. They would never allow her to be free. That much she knew. The men that circled her no longer wore the mantel of The Order, but it mattered very little. They all were still templars. And despite the war, they still hunted her. Each hoping to claim her head for their own.

As the templars inched toward her, their weapons unsheathed, betrayal and grief gave way to anger and vengeance. A vortex of electricity and lightning spun around her. In an explosion of anger, the energy that she had been slowly building, burst out from her body. Tendrils of crackling electricity danced toward the men, all enclosed in metal. She had given them all that she had, but now... now she would finally take it all back. Cullen, Alistair, and all the others who had taken from her without a word of thanks would die. No longer would the duties they imposed on her weigh upon her mind or heart.

The smell of charred flesh and burnt hair lifted into the air as the sound of heavy plate falling echoed through the courtyard. Rising into the air, her arms spread out wide, she began to channel all of her strength. Breaking apart the air, she began to push the electricity that surged within her out. She was done cowering in fear of her powers. Of the templars. Of all those who saw her magic as a black stain, and not the boon that it was. 

**_They are your enemies._  **

“Parshaara kadan,” a familiar voice shouted, pulling her from her fury.

Turning her head slightly, her eyes narrowed upon the familiar soul that was forcing his way through her vortex. “Fazha thrin.”

“Shok ebasit hissra. Meraad astaarit, meraad itwasit, aban aqun,” he said, fighting his way to her.

“You pray for them,” she hissed— flaring her energy and pushing him further away.

“They are bas. I pray for _you_ kadan,” he gently corrected, forcing his way back to her. “You must stop. This is not the way Xuxa.”

“They have betrayed me.”

“And so you tear yourself apart for vengeance,” he asked with sadness in his voice. “You are venak hol. Ashkost kata.”

Her eyes fell as he finally reached her. “I can't stop it. I... can't.” She had gone too far. Invited in too much power. Even then, as the electricity coursed around them, it threatened to pull her apart at the seams. She was tired, and she wanted nothing more than to finally be able to sleep. She had been running for so long, and she just wanted to be able to stop.

“Maaras shokra. Anaan esaam Qun,” he whispered before stepping forward and reaching out to touch her cheek.

“No!” Susana recoiled at his touch. Out of all those who had passed through her life, he was the one that she cherished the most. He was Arishok now, but he would always be Sten to her. He was her last love, and the last one in Thedas she ever wanted to harm. “Kadan... Asit tal-eb. I cannot stop this.”

“You are not alone,” he said before reaching out and embracing her. In a sudden movement his lips pressed against her and his fingers buried in her hair.

Closing her eyes, Susana felt him draw her energy into him— through him. As his tongue sought hers, she felt... for the first time in years... like perhaps the fight was finally over.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Parshaara kadan = Enough "where the heart lies" (or as I take it "my heart")  
> Fazha thrin = Leave us  
> Shok ebasit hissra. Meraad astaarit, meraad itwasit, aban aqun = Struggle is an illusion. The tide rises, the tide falls, but the sea is changeless. (an extract from the Qun - a prayer for the dead)  
> Bas = A thing (someone without purpose)  
> Venak hol = Wearying one  
> Ashkost kata = You are seeking death  
> Maaras shokra. Anaan esaam Qun = There's nothing to struggle against. Victory is in the Qun.  
> Asit tal-eb = It is to be


End file.
